In the middle of Romans 12, there’s a wonderful section that sums up a big theme of how Christians should love.

The NIV puts verses 9 to 21 under the heading “Love in Action”, while the New King James Version titles it “Behave Like a Christian”.

The Christian Standard Bible simply calls it “Christian Ethics”.

It’s profoundly counter-cultural.

Here’s what it says (Romans 12:9-21 NIV):

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practise hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:

‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’

²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

In the 1990s BBC sitcom Keeping Up Appearances, Hyacinth Bucket (“it’s pronounced ‘bouquet!’”) was desperate to give the outward appearance of being upper class.

Hyacinth had the Royal Doulton crockery “with the hand-painted periwinkles”, to impress guests; she checked if the department store if it had Royal Warrant visible on its lorries, so the neighbours could see it; and she would answer the phone by announcing: “The Bouquet residence. The lady of the house speaking”.

Her pride meant she would go to great effort to disguise what was really happening in order to project her affected poshness, often with hilarious outcomes as it all fell apart.

She was immensely embarrassed by two of her sisters, who are less well off, and by father, who is senile. She tries to hide them.

But Paul says we should not be conceited but instead be “willing to associate with people of low position”.

Hyacinth spends a lot of time trying to persuade the great and the good to come to her Candlelight Suppers. But Paul encourages us in another direction: “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.”

Grant R. Osborne, in his commentary on Romans, says Paul’s teaching has three concentric circles on how we should help others. Help should be given “primarily to one’s own family (1 Tim 5:4, 8) then to fellow believers [here in Romans] and third to the larger community outside the church (Gal 6:10)”.

We can see this love played out in the philanthropic activities of churches. Across the country, Christians are supporting food banks, providing company to those who are lonely, and helping people escape addiction.

We don’t always get it right. Matt Woodcock, as a minister at a big parish church in Hull, recalled in his diaries:

One of our elderly church welcomers lambasted me for making a homeless bloke a cup of tea this morning. ‘You’ll only encourage them, Matt,’ she said. Unbelievable.

But that’s not the big picture. A 2021 study by the National Churches’ Trust used HM Treasury methodology to try to assess the social value of UK churches. It says that just counting up volunteers’ time comes to £839 million a year, and the non-market (wellbeing) value of the nation’s churches comes to £52.6 billion.

For churchgoers and across the concentric circles to which Osborne refers, there’s a lot of love and kindness being spread.